But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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