my mouth tastes like poor choices
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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