Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
