i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
