can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
