I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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