I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
