me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize