You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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