The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
The adults are the big ones right?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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