please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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