I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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