After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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