I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize