I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
