Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
