He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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