no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
