dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
