last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
