Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
