Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
