Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
