nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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