I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Randomize
