So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
