Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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