5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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