i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Randomize
