Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
