Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize