I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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