Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
He felt like a one man threesome
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
