Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
