While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
