Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
