I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
