She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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