Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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