So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
