Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
