we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
She's not a foreskin expert like you
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
