my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
