My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
