Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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