My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
