fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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