I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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