i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
