My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
