Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
