I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
