So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
