margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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