The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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