Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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