Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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