I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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