the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
