She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
