Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I have tasted many bathrooms
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
