We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
