i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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