Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
