Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
